One day I saw three monks insulted and humiliated in the same way at the same moment. The first felt he had been cruelly hurt; he was distressed but managed not to say anything. The second was happy for himself but grieved for the one who had insulted him. The third thought only of the harm suffered by his neighbour, and wept with the most ardent compassion. The first was prompted by fear; the second was urged on by the hope of reward; the third was moved by love.
John Climacus
The Ladder of Divine Perfection, 8th step (pg. 73).
Fear, apparently, drives much of what I do. If I am even silent about a preceived slight that seems to take a sysphian effort. I fail. Often. To transform my small, reptilian mind, and forgive challenges my habitual way of operating in the world. To transform this initial reaction...would be quite a change. Perhaps, the message of Easter should provide us the hope that we can die to our rote way of responding and transfigure ourselves.
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